Humor from on High

Monday, July 10, 2006

The worse thing is, 50 million people will watch this movie.

The movie I am referring to is, of course, Snakes on a Plane...The much anticipated thriller releasing this summer in a theater near you. Samuel Jackson stars as an FBI agent who is transporting a witness by plane when a criminal mastermind begins releasing snakes on board to kill the witness. The very fact that a movie with a plot as masterful as this exists begs the question, 'how did it ever become to exist?' Well, I think it went a little bit like this....

In the think-tank room of New Line Cinema, screenplay writers sit around a table dumbfounded...

Writer #1: So guys, we need to compete with the big time movies next summer by producing a blockbuster hit that will take the world by storm.

Writer #2: I agree, but what can we do.

Writer #3: Well let's just think of the ingredients we want in the movie first and then worry about the plot.

Writer #2: Stupendous!

Writer #1: Well, we obviously need a recognizable name. Somebody see if John Malkovich is available.

Writer #2: Well, I heard Samuel L. Jackson has been offering to do movies for $50,000 grand after the population realized he has only been in one good movie. Let's nab him.

Writer #3: Sounds good. Well Samuel really had a connection to those sharks in "Deep Blue Sea", what if we had another animal confliting with the protagonist?

Writer #1: Snakes, it has to be snakes. We saw the bank that Anaconda pulled in.

Writer #2: Excellent, we also need to attract the male audience so we should have a water shower that causes the females in the movie to expose their nipples through their blouses.

Writer #1: Yep, and then we need an original setting like a plane or something. Ya, a plane. That's awesome.

Writer #3: All we need now is a plot...Actually, I think this thing has alread written itself. Good work boys.

Thus, the movies conception.


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