Humor from on High

Thursday, December 15, 2005

How to Talk Trash

So here in the 'burg, there is a small, yet surprisingly crappyvirile Ultimate community. A now yearly tradition is for one of the younguns who's been playing since he was a wee munchkin to go off to college, and then return thinking of themselves as The Shit. This year is no different, except the little fuck-nut tyke went off to ply his trade at that bastion of greatness, The Harvard of the Midwesttm. Young laddie has returned for ChristmasholidayFestivus break with big ambitions and bigger talk:
Sunday the 18th of december 12noon. . . be there....for the first annual.... barely legal vs. Ole and in the way....some of you that need to warm up should arrive at 11:30 because...we dont need to...

anticipating our victory,

[Trashtalking Littleshit]
Note three things: His grammar skills do not reflect well on The Harvard of the Midwesttm; he is mighty confident; and he is terrible at smack talk. In response (not me):
Waking up early this morning, I stumbled out of bed and dragged myself to the sink. Splashing cold water on my face, I stared at my reflection and shuddered slightly. Was my hairline receeding, was my slowly aging 27 year old body starting to atrophy and grow cellulose around the edges. A brief moment of insecurity overcame me as I wondered if these little kids WERE perhaps the next thing, if perhaps they COULD win this game.... and then Mrs. [Littleshit] called to me from the bedroom, and said, "darling, bring that 6 foot 4, 185 pound frame of pure ultimate frisbee skill back here." Pulling myself away from the mirror I said, "[Littleshit's Mom], I'd love to, but I gotta go, its game time baby."
Ok, it's a mama joke. But a good mma joke. But the veterans weren't done (not me either):
It wasn't that long ago.....

I remember cradling little sweet [Littleshit] in my arms as he burbed up his food on my shoulder - now he just throws up swill. And although he sometimes acts like it, he wasn't born in a manger - he was born wishing he could play with the big kids.

Oh I remember.....
Now that's how you do it. Chrissy, if you are reading this, Down, down, down, red team goin down...


At 7:20 PM, Blogger Frankie said...

EXCELLENT Smack talk. I love the momma one. Priceless.


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