Humor from on High

Monday, December 19, 2005

Mr. T

Come on now. You know you have a special place in your heart for Mr. T. Here are the Top Thirty Mr. T Facts....where the term 'facts' is used loosely.

My personal favorites:

Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."

When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.

Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

Gravity dosen't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay the fuck down. Birds and planes are exempt beacuse they are shaped like Ts.

When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.

I love the internet.


At 12:43 PM, Blogger Sebby said...

The best thing I've heard about the internet, from some TV show (might have been Scrubs, since it's the only one I watch):

"I'm pretty sure that if you took all the porn off the internet, there would be only one site left, and it would be called 'Bring Back the Porn'."

Let's see what search terms you can find your site under now.

At 12:53 PM, Blogger SethG said...

I don't talk to strangers and I treat my mother right.

Is this porn: http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2668992 ?

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Kaiser said...

If those camo shorts don't qualify as porn, then I don't know what does.

Shouldn't there be some kind of True Hollywood Stories episode about Mr. T? Don't we all want to know (desperately) how he became Mr. T? Maybe it exists, but I'm too busy to go figure it out at the moment. Help me out blogosphere...


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