Your Back Mountain is So Broke Yo

I don't know what the subject of my post means either. However, I did just watch a copy of Brokeback Mountain that I may or may not have obtained by legal means (I'm safe saying that, right Pooh?). My initial impression....if I'm ever going to have a secret homosexual cowboy dress-up relationship/affair, I'm DEFINITELY doing it in the Bitterroot Mountains in Montana. They're more breathtaking than...well...than Heath Ledger must be to a gay man...I guess. He's personally never done it for me, but then again I tend to prefer, as Fergie would say, "humps". Heh heh....humps.

The best part of their secret affair is that they got to camp and go fly fishing. That has GOT to be a gay cowboy's dream. And speaking of fly fishing, I'm actively editing myself from making the obvious gay joke. I encourage you to do the same. Fly. One word....two meanings.........it's a homonym. Heh heh...homonym.

I really did like the movie. However, I'm having a hard time believing that Heath Ledger is going to win Best Actor for the portrayal of a borderline mute cowboy. I have not seen Phillip Seymour Hoffman's protrayal of Truman Capote yet, but I'm going to go ahead and give it to him anyway. Anyone who could even speak in that Capote voice for 10 consecutive minutes deserves some hardware in my book. I mean, when Heath Bar (which is what I would call him if I was having a mountainous homosexual affair with him) DOES talk he basically mumbles the entire time. The only rational argument for him winning the statue is that he had to kiss Jake Gylenhaal multiple times. Now THAT, my friends, is swallowing your pride. Heh heh...swallowing.

I actually sort of grew up in Montana as a youth. Well really it was more of a second home to me, as my parents were both from there, and all my relatives basically still live there. And I can confirm that the redneck culture is, even to this day, still firmly entrenched there. I'll give you an example, even. One time I was riding a rental car shuttle in Phoenix, AZ with my girlfriend at the time, and two friends of ours who worked closely with Howard Dean during the last Democratic primaries. They were serious Deaniacs, but that's another story. Anywho, they had on Dean buttons, and this guy and his wife were sitting in the back of the shuttle and noticed the buttons. He asks if they are Dean supporters, they reply yes, and he goes on to tell us that he is running for governor in Montana on the Democratic ticket and likes a lot of the things that Dean has to say. The Montana bit perked up my ears right away, obviously, and we started asking him questions about his campaign. At one point, my Deaniac friend MG asks this guy, "So what kind of issues do you run on in Montana as a democrat?" Remember, this is we-love-our-guns-and-stay-the-bleep-off-our-land Montana, where the state motto is "We'll Form a Militia If We Want To God Damn It!" Tax paying, optional. This guy's reply, "Well, none actually." "If you want to win as a Democrat in Montana, you basically try to avoid talking about any issues." Right. Don't you love potlitics?

And now for something completely different, I give you....Little Michael Jackson!