Humor from on High

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Taking Care of Business

All right, time to wrap up a few loose ends here as the part of the year where I repeatedly right 05 instead of 06 begins officially. Hope everyone had a happy New Year. I did...from what I remember.

A. December links are up. Apparently it was a slow month.

B. Pooh has decreed that I boycotted Walk the Line. In fact, I not only have seen it, but I thoroughly enjoyed it and made special plans with Hops to go see it very soon after it came out. I have to say that for the first time ever, I didn't hate Joaquin. In fact, he was outright tolerable. And the fact that he and Reese sang all their own music was pretty impressive. The Spoon, as I call Reese (we're tight), might have a better voice than the actual June Carter. This all further proves that this site deserves a Why Pooh is Wrong Today segment. Look for it soon. Next on the Johnny Cash hit parade is the Cash Only concert here in late January, where Motley Crue rip-off bands, Weezer rip-off bands, and Johnny Cash rip-off bands rip off...well...Johnny Cash. This will be the fourth year in a row for me, and it is always a fantastic show. This year we are calling for handle bar mustaches and huge belt buckles for all attendees. Yes, you can still wear your moonboots.

P.S. The Family Stone is good, even though it's smaltzy holiday family mushiness. I teared up (not cried, mind you...I'm tough) four or five times. King Kong was crap, although I will be scared of dragonflies for the rest of my life. And who else is getting that Slid Down the Rope in Gym Class feeling about Wedding Crashers coming out on DVD?

C. Pooh also tagged me several weeks ago to lay out five embarassing or unusual habits, and I've been lax to comment, but after ironically covering this subject just the other day with my friend Klaus, I decided to take him up on it, since I already had a couple in mind. Without further ado:

Kaiser's Top Five Most Unusual Habits

1. Fridge Dash -- every night during the summer, and slightly less often when it's cooler, I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning (typically between 4 and 6 am) dying of thirst. It's not the groggy, half-asleep kind of wakefulness either...I am fully awake and alert. I can't even remember how or when this started anymore. The only solution is to get out of bed, go to the fridge, and chug about 12 oz. of liquid. Kool-Aid is preferred (especially Tropical Punch...but it has to be diluted to a particularl taste point that I'm very picky about...yeah, that's not weird either), apple juice second, milk third (2%, not that skim crap...I was raised by a farm mom), and maybe orange juice if I have it. If it has to be water...fuh gid a boud id.

2. Sea Salt -- I have an irrationally strong belief that sea salt is better for cooking than kosher salt.

3. Fidgetting -- I think the reason I have been thin my whole life is because of a remarkable ability to rid myself of excess energy unconsicously. I do so by fidgetting. This could involve rubbing my fingers together, rubbing my feet together, passing a blanket through my fingers, or flexing my quads alternately (but in rhthym). Weird, right? And I'm usually not even aware that I'm doing it, which is usually great fun for anyone I happen to be with that notices it.

4. I have a blankey. Can't believe I just wrote that. Blood is now spewing from my eye sockets.

5. Lines -- I hate waiting in line. HATE. In fact, I so hate waiting in lines that I will force myself out of bed WAY early (I'm NOT a morning person, btw) to make sure I miss rush hour traffic, or wait several hours til it dies down at night, just to not have to go bumper to bumper. I would rather take back roads home that would keep me moving the whole time than stop and start on the interstate, even if it added 30 minutes to my normal 15 minute trip home from work. I also will never ever ever ever eat lunch between 12 and 1:30, if it's up to me. And if I'm dying for Chinese food, any semblance of a line at China Panda will send me scurrying for pigeon seed if there isn't a line on the sidewalk for that.

It's fun to purge. Maybe I'll keep this up as I discover more.

Nah, there couldn't be any more.................right?


At 11:48 PM, Blogger Pooh said...

Sure, fidget boy, make fun of me for my spirit fingers...


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