Humor from on High

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Maybe I'm drunk on a workday, but one of the worst feelings in the world is a blog left unattended. Staring at the date of that last blog post is like ninjas of guilt assaulting my genitals with dozens of tiny, tiny throwing stars.

Or something.

Seriously though, it has been awhile dear readers who may still be left. It is remarkably ridiculous how much has happened in life since the last time we spoke. Life has a way of doing that to you once you advance to a certain point, and unlike the video games that my roommates of the past used to play, there is no convenient "save place" available to me now to stop the wheels of time from turning in order to pause and properly reflect on past events. All that liberal arts training for naught. Should have gone to technical school.

Dude! 18 freaking months man! What the hell!? There are not enough arbitrary brain energy units left in the old occipital lobe to chronical everything that has happened, so let me give you a few highlights in order to get us back on semi-equal footing and attempt to transition into a possible (but doubtful) semi-regular posting schedule for the forseeable future, especially but not limited to the fact that I sort of promised details (two ago) last October(s):

1. Got married. Awesome.
2. Got pregnant (well, not me of course). Fun, but mostly for me and the auto DD privileges.
3. Became "da da" for a ridiculously cute baby. (link) Also awesome.
4. Got first "real" job of life. Good but bad.
5. Multiple marriages, births, deaths, significant life events of friends and families.
5. Renewed committment to blogging as possible creative and emotional outlet (results pending).

In other words, the usual.

HOWever, in agreement with the consensus human condition, "the usual" for each individual is incredibly personal and spiritual and important, but mostly only to myself. So much has happened since Oct, '08, but in that weird way that happens when you become a real-life adult, things also appear to happen SO slow. The baby is 11 months last Tuesday...but simultaneously it seems so LONG ago and JUST YESTERDAY that she was a little squeaking, squealing, newborn. And now she points to every god-forsaken thing she wants, adorably says "da da", "ma ma", chases the dog on all fours, and spews banana and oatmeal-mango-rice-artichoke baby food like a dug-out WWII German machine-gunner. It wasn't that way for the first two or three months, where nothing major really seemed to change. We are just getting into that phase where grandma-care providers are constantly commenting on how much she has changed since, you know, two days ago. With two working parents, one with serious mommy guilt, and another emotionally unavailable but with heavily internalized approximation of mommy guilt, weekends and evenings become extremely precious and former iron-clad friendships become disapointing and guilt-inducing rough approximations of their former selves. This is not to say that life is not good...because it absolutely is. But let's just say that prioritization has never been more elusive, or more in need of innovation and optimization than ever before. Life is GOOD... but oh so different than it once was.

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