Humor from on High

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Weirdness #6

I just remembered another weird or strange habit that I have. It's an irrational fascination, bordering on love, of Monster Ballads (when it comes to these As Seen on TV colelctions, mostly Vol. 1, although Vol. 2 has its moments; Edit: Holy shit! There's a Platinum Edition now!). This includes all things associated with said tunes, especially including the hair and air guitar. I highly recommend the wikipedia entry for "power ballad", by the way. Is there anything that gets you more pumped up than when that Peter Cetera song comes on during Karate Kid 2? Personally, it makes we want to go Crane Kick the maple tree out in the front yard, and then make out with the neighbor's dog. And is there any better moment than when you're sitting at home on a Sunday afternoon after the football season is over with little to do, and VH1 comes on with "Two Hit Wonders" and you just know that there is going to be several hours of hair bands rocking out with "Kick Start My Heart" and then slowing it WAY, WAY down for "Without You" so you can reminesce about standing in the corner at your junior high dance, trying to dredge up the courage to ask little Suzie McBoobssonew to dance?

The only thing I irrationally love more, perhaps, is crazy Chinese kids lip-syncing on a web cam. Well, Korean kids would be pretty funny too. Or Russian kids with a bear balancing on a beach ball just in the background somewhere. Something like that.

If only we could get some United Arab Emiratian kids to put out a kick-ass Shakira lip-sync, maybe it would show us that we are all essentially the same...a bunch of crazy kids with slightly different colored skin, trying to make jack-asses out of ourself for all the world to see. I just hope they stay away from Ricky Martin. That's got nuclear holocaust written all over it.


At 5:25 PM, Blogger Pooh said...

I am in awe...

At 7:54 AM, Blogger Frankie said...

Wait a minute.

You are also obsessed with Monster Ballads too?!!!!!?!

I can't tell you how many times someone has wrestled the phone out of my drunken, sweaty, little paws when that commercial comes on.

It is a sickness, I tell you, a pure sickness, and I get hairband-blocked every time I attempt to get the album. I want it so desperately, I can taste the Aquanet hairspray on my lips. Gimme gimme.*

Oh, and while the Chinese kids are funny, Fat Dutch Kid will always hold a special place in my heart. ALWAYS. I even downloaded the song and practically fall off the elliptical whenever it comes on my Ipod.

*(Obviously dropping giant hints for a congratulations on your PhD Frankie, queen of the universe gift.)


Post a Comment

<< Home